LoZ: truth or dare Holymage style
by HolyMage Mouto
Summary: I decided to try my hand at a truth or dare fic. I wanted to try something other then Naruto so here we go. M-rated just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

Author: Hi. It's me Holymagemouto here but from now on call me Ren also it isn't my real name so don't try hacking or anything like that. Now I'm here with my two OC body guards Ryoto and Ryoso here for a LoZ truth or Dare fic. Ryoto, Ryoso introduce yourselfs and explain some rules before I warp the Zelda characters here.

Ryoto: Hello. The names Ryoto. –hefts his spear one his shoulder- I'll explain certain things for you darers. First no more OC's unless they are here for a short dare they are not to be permanent. Second if you want to be here for a chapter tell Ren on how you act but you'll only be here for one chapter unless you can remind Ren to keep this thing alive and constantly help him with Truths and Dares. Third Ren is sucky at describing stuff and he also doesn't want to try his hand on sex scenes so if you made a sex dare it will be done in the sex room –points to a brown door with a stylized 'S'- Fourth is simple don't try daring Ren to death because he has several different ways of avoiding it.

Ryoso: Ryoso is the name and I'm here to explain some other things. First for me is simple Ren excepts all sorts of dares whether it be inflation, expansion, throw to fangirls, etc., etc. Second Ren reserves the right to turn down a dare if he doesn't like it. Third Ren doesn't know everything and hasn't played all the Zelda games so if you have a certain character or a character sent someplace tell Ren so he can do the dare. Finally if you want to know more about me and Ryoto check Ren's profile he will sooner or later put our stats and stuff up.

**KA-ZAAAAAM**

Link: Ugh… where are we.

Zelda: oh f#$ we're in a truth or dare fic.

Navi: RUUUUUUUUN!!!!

Ren: Oh no you don't! Release the fan people!

Ryoto: -pulls lever releasing all sorts of fan people-

Zelda crew: -stops in their mad break for an exit as the only safe place was now the giant stage they were warped onto though Ryoso shot Navi into the fangirl swarm with a fireball-

Ren: Now listen and listen good because I won't be repeating myself if anyone tries to escape again I'll turn you all into gnomish prostitutes and send you into a castle full of bisexual horny giants GOT ME!!!!

Everyone but Ren:-gulps in fear while nodding-

Ren: Good now for everyday I don't get a truth/dare I will do something random to Link next chapter.

Link: WHY ME??!!

Ren: Quit whining I never said which Link seeing as this includes Toon Link, Dark Link, and you. Also I don't own LoZ because if I did Tingle would die in horrible gruesome manners repeatly.

Tingle: WHAAAAA-

-Tingle is suddenly shot with M-72 antitank rocket launcher by Ryoso-

Ryoso: God he is annoying!!!

Everyone nods at this.

Ren: Well R&R see ya.


	2. Random'r'us

Ren: Okay chapter two here and this is the only time I'm doing this without dares for the next chapter to appear I want at least 3-5 dares.

Ryoto: Also since it has been 4 days since the last chapter that means four random things are going to happen.

Ryoso: For who something random will happen to we will be using the Random Slots- spotlights appear on a slot machine with pictures of all four links(dark, regular, toon, and kid)-

Ren: Also we have gotten a review wanting something random to happen to Dark Link.

-Suddenly a poof of smoke appears around Dark Link and a note appears in Ren's hand-

Ren: It says transformed into gay ganon fanboy. Oh *beep* Ryoto, Ryoso grab Toony, Tetra, and Kid and head to the safe house. –disappears into a safe house along with Ryoto carrying the three kids and Ryoso using his magic to bring the random slots-

Dark Link: -starts trying to rape Ganondorf-

Ren: -pulls lever on the random slots and suddenly the slots stop with three pictures of Dark Link-

-A spring appears next to Dark and he suddenly gets metal boots on his feet, then one of those extending boxing gloves punches Dark Link into the spring where he unfortunately drowns-

Ren: -appears next to spring and starts speaking in an obviously fake Chinese accent- Here we have the cursed spring of gay ganondorf fanboy tragic tale of a gay ganondorf fanboy who drowned here only a couple of seconds ago. Now anyone who falls init takes form of the drowned gay ganondorf fanboy.

Link: How do you know if it's cursed.

Ren: Good question. –grabs Zelda and throws her into spring where she comes up looking like Dark Link wearing a dress who is then grabbed by Ryoto and Ryoso and thrown into the anti-ganondorf fans resulting in him/her getting mauled-

Link: Oh so that's how.

Ren: Next –pulls lever again which causes the slots to spins and land on Kid Link-

Kid Link: Oh no –gets engulfed by smoke and when the smoke clears he looks to be around 16 years old- Why do I feel funny around girls.

Ren: Ryoto you explain to KL seeing as we can no longer call him Kid.

-Ryoto gives KL "the talk"-

KL:-fetal position- find my happy place. find my happy place.

Ren: While KL deals with the fact of life we'll finish off this chapter with the last random event –pulls lever again and the slots land on Link who is then engulfed in smoke and comes out as a fairy the size of Navi-

Link: -in a high voice- what the heck happened to me?

Ren: I'd say you turned into a fairy and I'm also suggesting you start running or flying away.

Link: Why? –gets pounced by Navi who drags him into the sex room-

Ren: That's why Link. Any way See you next chapter which won't happen until I get atleast 3 reviews with truths or dares.


End file.
